It’s time to stop giving your happiness away - learn how to design it for now

Mums in Biz Show - Episode 10

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MIBS E10 Design your happy image Sep18.png

It is so confusing trying to get your business moving today because there are so many people out there telling you “exactly what you need to do” to create a business that will (supposedly) blow you away with the results that you get.

Yeah - a bunch of it feels like a load of BS to me too.

But what I think is really important is figuring out how to be authentically you in how you move forward. There are some simple, logical things that you need to get right to succeed in your business...but what makes the difference for how you find your breakthrough point in biz is figuring out how to follow those steps while still being you.

So I’ve created The Thriving Business Roadmap with you in mind. The Mum in business who is looking for guidance on how to grow your business and remain truly connected to your values. For the woman who wants to know what she needs to focus on and master to make results come quickly.

Grab your copy here and get started on your success journey.

I have discovered recently that finding your true happiness in your present is quite an art and skill to muster. And it is absolutely essential...

I know that you have heard (and most-likely believe…) that money doesn't buy happiness. And that if we aren't happy now - we won't be happy in the future if we don't find what is holding us back…

BUT! How many of us actually work on that? AND - if you get super honest with the answer to this question…what is it telling you… "Are you happy? Really, truly happy?"

Mmmm…the reason I am tackling happiness this week is because I really believe that figuring this out for you is one of the keys to success in business as a mum….

True success is only achieved when you feel successful…and while we can go about a structured approach to figuring out what success looks like of us (in fact I definitely think this is something you would benefit from doing) … unless you really know what makes you happy AND how you feel when you are happy, it can be hard to know when you are there.

In fact - I would argue that if you can find your happiness right now then you will feel successful right now because you start to release your tight control on the outcome you are looking for and live more in the moment.

Sounds a bit "woo woo" for you? I promise you that if you stick with me you will see what I'm talking about!

Many of you know that life has been a big old path of change for the last 12-18 months for Geoff, the girls and I. We have completely relocated to another state, moved to renting after being home owners for nearly fifteen years, we retired Geoff from his corporate role so that he could stay home and look after the girls and now I’m moving on from my Corporate role to exciting new opportunities in my business!

Through all of this, one of my biggest lessons learned has been how incredibly happy you can be in your life right now.

I LOVE how we are living, I love the time that we have as a family and with our girls, Geoff and I are closer than we have ever been (probably because I’m not stressed to the eyeballs all the time…) and I’m finding time to delight in all the amazing things that each day has to offer.

Don’t get me wrong....Life isn’t perfect. Of course it’s not - I have two small girls under school age, a toddler that has slept through about a dozen times in her short life to date, the same pressures of juggling as every mum has and a tendency to “cut my nose off to spite my face” on a semi-regular basis (hey - we all have ‘development areas’!).

But I have come to learn that happiness is not about perfection either. It’s about the small choices that you make every day. Here are some of the things I focus on:

  • Deliberate focus on gratitude in each moment and situation.

  • Letting go of the past - no place for guilt, remorse and recrimination if you aren't living with a focus on what has passed…

  • Making choices based on intuition and tapping into the wisdom that YOU already have as a mum in business.

  • Being brave to make changes in your life right now to move you towards where you want to be.

Looking for some really practical ways to think about this?

Check out Lagom (Lah-gum) the Swedish concept centered around Balance. Harmony. Beauty. Sufficiency.

"Not too much, not too little, just enough" contentedness, having enough and not feeling deprived.

Lagom permeates swedish culture and the defining factor is a deliberate focus on achieving the balance between working hard and enough time for family and community. This concept of enough has a science behind it as well.

As you know - you do not perform at your best if you have too little engagement, or too much stress - that is because your prefrontal cortex which does all our future planning, complex decision making and organising and multi-tasking needs optimal conditions to perform at its best.

That means that not only is it better for your health to start to embrace what is happiness for you now, finding that harmony between goals and where you are at is essential for the part of your brain which helps drive your strategic planning and business activity to operate at its best.

So - you will be happier, your family will be happier, and your business will be relieved of the pressure of delivering ALL of your dreams, it will perform better because you will be able to operate optimally when making decisions…AND it becomes another piece of the puzzle.

BUT - striving for happiness doesn't work either… this is about learning how to find your happiness through small changes every day….the harder you try to find happiness, likely the more stressed and anxious you will become.

So how the heck can you get this journey moving?

You can start with small changes:

  1. Make time to be lagom….

    1. Think about how much you have on in your week

    2. Where can you reduce the number of activities that you have on

    3. Where are you doing things as a family that actually none of you want to do!

    4. Set a deliberate time when you stop work (if you work at an office) and make sure that you leave then (remember - all it will do is make you more efficient - part-time working mums are amongst some of the most effective workers in the workforce!)

    5. Be well rested….ensure that you go to bed at a good time and get up a little earlier than usual (this might also look like getting up at your normal time if you are an early riser but making some of that time for yourself).

    6. You can make arrangements to create this kind of deliberate approach to just enough (eg a book club is a great way to catch up with friends, and you need to read a book for it!)

  2. Find your gratitude for every situation….sometimes this happens retrospectively!

  3. Start to notice when you are happy….sounds weird but when you do it. Make yourself stop in that moment and really relish it…this could be simple as feeling the sun on your face, noticing a flower, appreciating a blue sky, or soaking up the love from cuddles from your babies (or being climbed on…often they come together…)

  4. Revisit your ideal life vision….how much of that is centred around things, vs. the way that you are living. When you envisage yourself there…what is making you happy? Do you actually have that happiness now? How can you get it now?

  5. What do you love about working in your business…how do you embrace more of that?

  6. Make your plans and leave space for the magic to happen. Because when you commit to an outcome but stop trying to engineer so hard what needs to happen to get you there - you will be absolutely amazed at what opportunities come up for you in the meantime!

So there you have it. Why I think that figuring out how to really be happy in your life right now is one of the keys to your business success… Try it out - you've got absolutely nothing to lose in bringing a little lagom into your world.

Practice putting you, your needs and your priorities first…let's talk about all those things you do…if you are a person who sits and looks at what you have on in your life and think that you cannot possibly remove a thing, then try downloading my free master your mindset checklist to help you out with that!

I promise you that 50% of them are not as important or as essential as you think…

Grab your free checklist to find your way out of the mist…

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