What Does Confidence Have To Do With Success
It's pretty ironic that in striving to be more confident we can undermine our confidence completely. So in today’s post we are talking about what exactly IS confidence and how is it linked to our success…in any part of our lives.
Little hint: It's something you have more influence over than you think.
So, what is confidence?
A dictionary definition says it is “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.”
Notice a few things here: FEELING, BELIEF, FAITH.
Confidence isn't a concrete concept and yet we think of it as a tangible thing and we place all this meaning on it and what it depends on.
WHEN I have this experience or achieve this result, THEN I will have the confidence to do XYZ.
We think it’s tangible but it’s not. It’s about our feelings, our belief systems, and having faith in outcomes or that something will happen.
Think about the words we often use:
I just don't have the confidence to do or try that…
I'm not a confident person…
And we tell ourselves these stories about our confidence that are just that. Stories. Based on our experiences, or the things that people have said to us, or what we have observed or read…everything is definitely influenced by our environment because confidence is just another mindset thing.
It was one of the turning points for me when I realised that confidence is not factual. You are not “confident” or “not confident.”
It’s all about belief. It’s all about how you feel about things.
Let me ask you this:
Do you feel confident that you know what to do to brush your teeth in the morning? Or to put clothes on? What about walking or breathing?
Confidence is about being able to rely on someone to do something or for something to happen. And yet we make it about self-belief and self-identity.
We make it a big scary thing that becomes an excuse for not doing the things that we know we need to do to make an impact on our business or our lives.
Think about a hobby or skill that you have.
Maybe you love knitting. Do you doubt your ability to start a knitting project?
Maybe you love to bake a cake or to collect crystals. Maybe you like football or essential oils. Do you doubt your ability to do those things?
When you think about your hobbies, you don't let those things define your self-worth and identity!
But the meaning that we attach to how "confident" we feel, we also attach to what we can achieve with the thing that we are attempting.
When that is associated with our business, that is amplified to incredible heights!
Think about this: How do you feel about the results that you want to get in your business? Excited, fearful, anxious, pressured, energised, rollercoaster of all those things?
They are such intense emotions. And how do you feel after something goes your way or doesn't?
So what if it was nothing but a result?
What if you could detach your feeling about yourself from the actual result?
That is what I'm talking about when I say “what does confidence have to do with success?”.
The meaning that you attach to success, the definition of success for you, we tie it all up in our sense of self-worth… our confidence that we can achieve.
When really, confidence is just about belief, trust, faith in yourself to do something. It's not about the outcome, it’s just about taking action. Having a go.
What if you could start to find your confidence in just having a go at something. Being confident that you are ok with stepping outside your comfort zone a bit?
And what if, by having the confidence to step outside your comfort zone and have a go, you learned something that you could then apply as learning? That would start to move towards a result—everything in your business generates either the result that you wanted, or the lesson that you needed to learn (James Wedmore gave me this nugget and I love it!).
Confidence can move you to a point where you have “success.”
Success is whatever you decide it needs to be. We all define success what success looks like for ourselves.
...and then, only we are responsible for making sure that we do the things that make us feel successful.
At the end of the day though, it’s all just about feelings and resisting placing a meaning on the outcome (that is, don’t make it mean something whether you do, or don’t reach the goal or get a certain result…don’t make that outcome mean something about your identity).
You CAN have the confidence that you will take action to get a different result next time...you CAN influence your own actions and what you do next.
So - why do I talk about mindset, self-belief, confidence, and finding the right way up for you?
Because that is what it is all about in business—the work that we do on ourselves to release the outcome and start to become a leader of yourself and your business, making informed and calculated choices…but mostly having a go and doing something consistently.
You will get results if you take consistent action and you focus on learning and increasing the things that get results, and making changes to the things that don’t get results.
Have a strategy. Know where you’re going and what that’s gonna look like.
Know what you’re focusing on right now to get you to the next point.
That’s why I talk about this stuff. It’s so important.
So, are you doing your affirmations? Have you explored the limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Do you know where your confidence beliefs are actually sitting?
Learn where to focus on the stage of business that you are at so that you can have the confidence to move forward and grow a that thriving business in a way that you will love. Grab your copy of Thriving Business Roadmap here >>
Next week on the show (it's episode 20!) I am going to talk about resistance and what it is doing to your progress in your business, as well as what you can do about it. Don't miss it!